Polls find that polls matter

Polls that dont matter: Marijuana

Sun, 27 May 2012 14:29:56 -0400

56% of Americans want the freedoms to light up:

The poll affirms, once again, that the tide of public opinion continues to turn in our favor. Fifty-six percent of respondents stated they would support legalizing and regulating marijuana in a similar manner alcohol and tobacco. Only 36% were opposed to the concept and 8% were undecided.

The 36% who opposed were drunk on alcohol, which, as we all know, isn’t a drug and does not impair our senses, and does not soothe cancer patients.

Let’s also not forget that states rights don’t matter except when it matters (for gay marriage and healthcare and ….)

Polls that dont matter: FL foreclosure crisis

Fri, 25 May 2012 14:26:39 -0400

69% of Floridians blame Wall Street a/k/a banksters greed for Florida housing crisis:

The poll, commissioned by Campaign for a Fair Settlement, a group of labor and Democratic-leaning organizations, and conducted by Public Policy Polling, finds that only 36 percent of Florida voters approve of the president’s handling of the mortgage crisis while 50 percent disapprove. Almost six in 10 Florida voters believe President Obama has “not done enough to hold the banks accountable for their role in the housing collapse.”

On the bright side for Obama, 69 percent of responders said that the financial crisis was due at least in part to “criminal actions by Wall Street executives,” giving Obama room to grow if he takes a harder stance against the banks.

Well, Floridians did a great job punishing corporate greed by electing a convicted felon as Governor. That’ll show them corporate types! Why, the banksters in Palm Beach & Naples are practically shaking in their boots of how Obama may come after them only to be elected as Governor by the incredibly smart people of Florida. How scary.

Also too don’t forget how to be irrationally angry thanks to $3 trillion in Romney’s SuperPAC ads over how Obama wants Palestinians to take over Jerusalem & Muslims to build a mosque over baby Jesus’ manger & how Obama supports Fidel Castro & his Adidas tracksuit decked out army to invade the Keys! ZOMG!

Shh! Also too too did you know that it was Obama’s secret plan to release Burmese python to eat Florida’s native rodent population to justify Eric Holder’s onerous super-duper double-secret plan to confiscate our guns? It’s true - because otherwise why wouldn’t Eric Holder say something about the pythons? Ipso facto e pluribus unum! Semper semper!

Polls that dont matter: Independent Voters

Thu, 24 May 2012 14:14:53 -0400

Independent voters want Obama to keep pressuring banksters & make them accountable:

[A PPP poll] shows that independent voters in five potential battleground states would like to see the Obama administration do more to hold banks accountable and police Wall Street. The five states included in the survey — Nevada, Florida, Arizona, North Carolina and Pennsylvania — will not only figure prominently in the 2012 presidential election; they were also among the most acutely affected by the housing crisis and ensuing recession.

Independent voters are opposed to repealing the Affordable HealthCare Act (a/k/a Obamacare a/k/a RomneyCare):

Among registered voters nationwide, the poll shows that 41 percent have a favorable impression of Romney’s vow to repeal the health care reform law — colloquially referred to as “Obamacare” — that was passed and signed into law in 2010, while 42 percent have an unfavorable view of the proposal. But the former Massachusetts governor’s plan is unpopular among independents, with 47 percent saying they view Romney’s call for repeal unfavorably and only 33 percent saying they have a favorable view.

Great. I am sure uninformed, apathetic voters a/k/a independents won’t be swayed in the least by $3 trillion in ads by Americans For Prosperity, FreedomWorks, Citizens for Responsible Competitive Free Enterprise, Families & Freedoms & Justice about how Romney will use his business skills to right-size America with efficiencies gained from synergies created from entitlement reform (a/k/a lower taxes for rich & already incredibly profitable corporations).

It’ll be awesome.

Polls that matter: Bankster Bonuses

Wed, 23 May 2012 14:12:54 -0400

A survey of Wall Street suggests that big banks are expected to use a larger portion of profits for employee bonuses this year:

Bonuses are expected to rise 5 percent to 15 percent for employees across the financial services industry, with fixed-income traders projected to get the biggest bonus increases, according to forecasts by the compensation consulting firm Johnson Associates.

A chart in the Johnson Associates report showed compensation and benefits inching up toward 68 percent of investment and commercial banks’ profits in 2012, from about 63 percent last year. The figures are a median projection for eight large banks, based on Johnson Associates’ consulting work year-to-date.

And why not! Just hang on America, the money is almost ready to trickle down to from the guys who we bailed out. I feel so special. They totally deserve it for creating the financial crisis, giving us a chance to bail them out so they could fund ultra-right wing nutjobs who want to give them more & sacrifice schools, roads, retirement savings so they can have a little more. I feel so happy.

By the way, I think they should get a tax cut too. ‘Cuz, you know, freedoms.

Polls that dont matter: Tanning

Tue, 22 May 2012 14:22:44 -0400

~33% of white women between 18 and 21 admit to going tanning 20 times on average in a year:

The Associated Press looks at the CDC’s findings, which used numbers from a 2010 survey of adults between 18 and 29. The fact that so many people got sunburned shows that we’re regressing in our skin care, and aren’t scared off by warnings of skin cancer. In 2005, 45% of people reported at least one sunburn, which had been progress from 50% in the 2000 study.

Beyond that data, the CDC also found that women in their 20s are going to tanning salons almost twice a month on average. Their survey on the use of tanning beds, booths or sun lamps is a bit shocking — while 6% of adults overall admitted to going tanning indoors in the previous year, among young white women ages 18 to 21, the rate was 32%. That’s up 5% from the 2010 survey.

Young ladies, never mind the cancer, please let me offer you the best warning against tanning:

Cops say mom left kids in car so she could tan

You’re welcome

Polls that dont matter: CO Public Lands

Mon, 21 May 2012 14:28:53 -0400

63% of small business owners in Colorado say access to protected public lands and outdoor spaces is a major part of why they set up operations in the state:

A new survey conducted for the Small Business Majority finds that 63 percent of small business owners in Colorado say access to protected public lands and outdoor spaces is a major part of why they set up operations in the state.

The results show that these small business owners strongly support the president’s “all of the above” energy strategy — with more than half saying they would be more likely to support such a plan if it includes steps to conserve some areas and keep them free of development.

By a 4:1 margin, those small business owners say that creating new national parks and monuments would have a positive impact on jobs and the economy.

Really? I am sorry but we have to drill, baby, drill and frack, baby, frack so there. Also, too, if we don’t give in to big oil the terrorists win. Also, too, too tax cuts for rich means we can’t afford to protect land.

Polls that dont matter: Defense Spending

Fri, 18 May 2012 14:31:14 -0400

Americans want to cut defense spending:

Ask your average American whether the defense budget should go up or down in 2013, and by how much, and they’ll tell you to cut spending by a whopping 18 percent. Ask your average member of Congress the same question, and no matter which party they’re from, you’ll likely hear that defense spending should barely budge from where it is right now.

The problem, they acknowledge, is that the average American doesn’t typically get the inside look at the budget, and there isn’t much public pressure on policymakers, who’ve gotten an earful from the Pentagon when it comes to defense spending. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, for instance, “is talking about catastrophe and devastation if cuts go further,” said Leatherman. As a result, Smith add later, the “noisy minorities” dominate, and the public is left in the dark.

The public is in the dark? Hmm, only if we had a halfway decent press that informs instead of acting as stenographers for lobbyists & DC insiders? On one hand, he said we need missiles, on the other hand, poor people have cell phones. So lets cut social net for missiles. Yeah, journamalism is teh awesome!! I can haz Fred Hiatt & David Broder’s freedoms(tm) medals of bipartisan biased reporting that tickles DC very serious people’s fancies & leaves people totally uninformed.

Besides, without defense spending, we may not be able to afford giant codpiece for the next mission accomplished landing on USS Freedoms

Polls that dont matter: Gay marriage

Thu, 17 May 2012 14:18:30 -0400

60% of Americans say that President Obama’s endorsement of same-sex marriage will make no difference in how they vote:

A new national poll from Gallup shows that 60 percent of Americans say that President Obama’s endorsement of same-sex marriage will make no difference in how they vote. Among those who it will, twice as many Americans said they were less likely to vote for him because of it (26 percent) versus those who would be more likely (13 percent).

Overall, 51 percent of Americans polled approved of President Obama’s new position the policy, while 45 percent were against it.

On the other hand, we haven’t yet witnessed the onslaught of ads from Crossroads GPS, Americans for a Prosperous Free Enterprise & Unhappy Marriages, Club for a Gay Free Growth, Gay FreedomWorks etc. tying in Obama’s same-sex support with satan worship. Let it not be said Americans arem’t easily fooled. Hey, who’s Willie Horton raped recently? Wasn’t he gay, too?

Polls that dont matter: Economic Mobility

Wed, 16 May 2012 14:25:07 -0400

A new survey finds Americans are more likely to move up the economic ladder if they live in the northeast:

The states with the highest mobility rankings are Maryland, New York and New Jersey. During the 10-year period studied, residents there were more likely to have experienced stronger income growth and to have raised their economic standing relative to other Americans. People in those states were also less likely to be downwardly mobile. Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Utah also scored well.

Nine states in the South, including Texas and Florida, had worse economic mobility than the national average. Oklahoma, Louisiana and South Carolina had the lowest scores. Currier says other Pew studies have identified the factors that most affect mobility.

You mean people in the “right-to-work” states where billionaires live tax free and force wages down don’t move up the economic ladder? Shocking! But also too you know like … makers and takers, right?

Otoh, if PA, NJ & NY replace labor rights with right-to-work extra special freedom works, I am sure America will be great again and no one will tread on my freedoms to live a life of endless freedoms.

Polls that dont matter: Teens & birth control

Mon, 14 May 2012 14:15:37 -0400

~60% of teen girls who have sex use the most effective kinds of contraception:

About 60 percent of teen girls who have sex use the most effective kinds of contraception, including the pill and patch.

That’s up from the mid-90s, when less than half were using the best kinds, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study found.

The teen birth rate fell 44 percent between 1990 and 2010. Another factor besides better birth control is increasing abstinence. About 43 percent of the girls in the survey said they’d had sex, the new study found. That’s down from a similar survey in 1995, when 51 percent of teen girls said they’d had sex.

Cue the faux outrage & ignorant sh*tfest from the right. Teens having sex? Gasp! Teens preventing pregnancy by using birth control? My lawd, where’re my smelling salts. Should we dare listen to guardian saint of teen affairs (and oxycontin & viagra pills), Rush Limbaugh on this topic?

Girls, you don’t need birth control - all you need is a heavy dose of abstinence & purity balls followed by lack of social net when you get pregnant, drop out of school and start working in Walmart with other abstinence practicing teen mothers. Huzzah!

Also, don’t forget to not get the HPV virus because a random 7 foot tall man once told me it causes retardation. For realz. Bless you child, in the name of Michele Bachmann, the holy HPV virus and Rick Santorum.

Polls that matter: Gold!

Sat, 12 May 2012 14:31:11 -0400

28% of Americans think gold is the best investment:

For the second straight year, an annual Gallup poll has found that a plurality of Americans believe gold is the single safest long term investment option. Safer than savings accounts. Safer than real estate. Safer than stocks. A full 28 percent of adults ranked gold as their top choice, down from 34 percent last year, a drop just outside the five point margin of error. It was most popular among older Americans, those without a college a degree, and individuals who earned between $30,000 and $75,000 a year

You know, it makes sense. At least, Skank of America or Shitty Bank isn’t going to come by and foreclose on your gold. Amiright?

Besides, if all else fails for people in America, they can move to India where gold is king & well, live like one, too.

Pass the curry, my coconut water loving friend.

By the way, how long ago was it when Americans thought housing was the best investment?

in 2002, 50% of Americans said housing was the best long-term investment.

Oh yeah. Gold would never *NEVER* suffer a similar fate as housing, eight?

How do you say short memories in Hindi? Also, too, Americans have no clue what to do with their money or how to save for their future. Nor do 84% money managers.

Polls that dont matter: Extra-marital affairs & escorts

Fri, 11 May 2012 14:21:01 -0400

3% of Great Neck residents are looking for hookups:

Ritzy Great Neck, LI, is crawling with more cheating spouses than any other town or neighborhood in the greater New York City metro area, according to a survey by a dating Web site that promotes infidelity.

“There seems to be a disproportionate amount of cheating spouses in affluent areas and neighborhoods in New York,” said Noel Biderman, the CEO of AshleyMadison.com, a dating site for people looking for extramarital sex, which crunched the numbers.

Power hungry rich f&*kwads who have nothing to do but sit around in the weekends because markets are down are looking to blow their wad on sex escapades? Shocking. hey, at least, they want gip the escorts like the secret service did down in Columbia, right? After all, they’re rich:

The driver picked me up in Manhattan, far away from where I lived, and we went to an apartment in Midtown. The guy there said he was an “investor” and offered me champagne right away. He said he had seen a lot of girls but wanted me to be his “special” girl, and that he liked me a lot. We spent two hours together and I got $1,000 instead of the $3,000 I had been promised. I asked Sam why I only got $1,000, and he said it was the cut I got for jobs until I proved that I could hold onto clients.

It’s called “relationship banking”, dear. Also, too:

I’m not sure if it is because of the economy and that people aren’t getting as much, but I throw out a number and negotiate only if I really like the girl. Depending on “hotness” the range is now $400 to $600 a night to meet a girl and sleep with her.

And people think banksters arent considerate.

Polls that dont matter: CO Same Sex Marriage

Thu, 10 May 2012 14:22:29 -0400

62% of Coloradoans support same sex marriage:

Opponents testifying against the measure were led by representatives from the Alliance Defense Fund, whose primary argument was that civil unions are a “gateway” to same-sex marriage. They also argued that Coloradans do not support civil unions, but a recent poll found that 62 percent, in fact, do. The Colorado Senate passed the bill last week and Gov. John Hickenlooper (D) has committed to signing it.

I guess the Mormon church holds more sway in California than they do in Colorado? Who wouldve thunk it! I guess its good Karl Rove used the gay agenda at its zenith in 2004.

Which leads to this:

Biden: I’m ‘absolutely comfortable’ with gay marriage

Well, isnt that precious. You mean, you guys didn’t want to wait until OK & NE legalize same sex marriage, to come out in support?

Polls that matter: The End of the World

Wed, 09 May 2012 14:31:44 -0400

22% of Americans believe that the world will end in their lifetime:

The United States is pretty well prepared to deal, with 22 percent of respondents clued in to the obvious truth that Big Government doesn’t want you to know. This puts us on par with our oldest ally, Turkey, and way ahead of Great Britain, where only 8 percent of adults believe the world was hanging around just long enough for them to be born before it ended.

The country most caught off-guard by the End Times, which almost certainly will occur sooner rather than later, will probably be France, where only 6 percent of residents believe Armageddon will take place within the next few decades.

Maybe it has to do with differing perceptions of what “end of the world” means? I think the likelihood of Michele Bachmann or Glen Beck becoming the President of the Untied States would be the end of the world. So, you know, Mittens. Also, too, Mayan calendar.

Never mind that 22% of people watching TBN, CBN, EWTN etc. and listen everyday to how Jeebus is going to come back & stick a giant fiery poker up their ass for voting for Bernie Sanders.

Ooga booga

Polls that dont matter: Faith in financial institutions

Tue, 08 May 2012 14:31:04 -0400

Only 22% of Americans have faith in their financial institutions:

The Chicago Booth/Kellogg School Financial Trust Index published yesterday shows that only 22% of Americans trust the nation’s financial system

What? Shocking. After all, what have financial institutions, like Goldman Sachs, that are only doing what God wants, done to deserve this?

Is it their lack of remorse or regret about creating the greatest economic debacle after the great depression, getting massive bailouts and then a year later returning to record profits while large segments of the population is scraping by?

Is that it?

Meanwhile:

Bank CEOs To Tell Fed Regulation Is ‘Unrealistic’

Rich bankster tells Americans, they’re stupid & don’t realize that money will trickle down from the already spectacularly super wealthy but only if the wealth inequality is quadrupled.

Because thats how the “real” economy works.

Duh! And, not only that, the huge wealth inequality will force me to love him!

Also, too:

Tea Partiers Take Campaign Donations From Bailed Out Banks

Oh, yeah.

Polls that dont matter: Small business sales

Mon, 07 May 2012 14:30:38 -0400

For the umpteenth time, a majority of small businesses have identified “sales” as their #1 concern:

22% of small businesses think poor sales in their #1 problem

Which, of course, means that their industry lobby must take funds from Karl Rove’s group to run ads saying that lowering taxes on the rich & big businesses is their number 1 concern.

And House GOP will propose huge tax cuts for the rich & big big corporations that they will spin as small business helping proposals and David Gregory will interview John McCain for 9000th time about how awesome that is (Also, deficit? What deficit?)

Polls that matter: iPads for Moms

Sat, 05 May 2012 14:31:52 -0400

Techbargains reports that 90% of American moms prefer iPads to flowers:

According to a survey released Tuesday by the shopping site TechBargains.com, 91% of mothers polled would much rather have an Apple (AAPL) iPad than yet another bunch of flowers

Those who can afford to give their moms iPads can afford to get them both iPads & flowers. Just sayin’

Polls that dont matter: EPA

Fri, 04 May 2012 14:29:41 -0400

71% of small-business owners think government has a role in driving toward a cleaner, more competitive economy:

Small-business owners say they believe federal clean-energy investment helps drive job creation and economic growth, even with the cloud of Solyndra’s bankruptcy hanging over them, a recent poll of such enterprises in six U.S. states indicates.

Results indicate 71 percent of small-business owners think government has a role in driving toward a cleaner, more competitive economy, said advocacy group Small Business Majority, which commissioned the survey.

The poll also found strong support for current and new federal Environmental Protection Agency air quality standards even if enforcement meant a possible increase in utility prices.

Maybe that’s something you guys need to tell your trade lobbyists at US Chamber of Commerce and the NFIB?

Small business owners in all six surveyed states also showed strong support — 82 percent — for recently released EPA standards that require new power plants to reduce their emissions of greenhouse gases. The survey showed 76 percent favor the EPA’s federal rule that new power plants reduce previously unlimited emissions of carbon dioxide, methane and nitrous oxide.

I’m sure they’ll vote for candidates who support the EPA after $3 trillion in ads from Club for growth, Americans for Prosperity, Crossroads GPS, Restore our future, AEI, CEI, Heritage, Mercatus, Atlas, Cato, American Action Fund, ALEC etc.

What more says you, small business owner?

As a cabinet maker with 10 employees, I’ve been just about breaking the bank for years to pay 85 percent of my employees’ individual health insurance costs. I know a thing or two about the broken health care system, and I find little to support in the NFIB’s “analysis.” Small business owners like me want to make health care reform work, not roll it back.

Whether we’re talking about health care or taxes (or both at the same time), NFIB always seems to side with the big fellas – big insurance, big banking, big business – not little guys like me. Why? I don’t know. But I’d sure like to know who’s bankrolling NFIB’s positions and who’s paying for its multi-million dollar legal challenge to the ACA. According to an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal last December, the Karl Rove-connected American Crossroads gave NFIB $3.7 million in 2010, the year it joined the ACA lawsuit. How much more money has Crossroads given since then?

A whole f&8king lot more.

Maybe you need a new lobbyist? One that supports you instead of Crossroads GPS?

Polls that dont matter: California Taxes

Thu, 03 May 2012 14:31:17 -0400

80% of Californians oppose cuts to school funding:

Nearly 80 percent of Californians oppose $5 billion in so-called trigger cuts to state schools this fall, but only a slight majority of voters support the governor’s tax plan to stop it, according to a survey of 2,000 voters released Wednesday.

80%? Sounds like someone’s in denial of how they can mitigate the cuts.

At this point, 54 percent of likely voters said they’d vote for Gov. Jerry Brown’s ballot measure to temporarily boost sales tax and income tax on wealthy California residents, the Public Policy Institute of California poll found

So, 54% would approve a tax hike to prevent a cut in school funding - umm, so what would the other 26% do? Hurl bananas at the budget cutters and take the funding cuts in the chin? Morons.

Polls that dont matter: Wealth Divide

Wed, 02 May 2012 13:50:20 -0400

66% of conservatives consider the growing gap between the rich and the poor a “problem”:

Fully 66 percent of conservatives consider the growing gap between the rich and the poor a “problem,” according to a poll Frank Luntz conducted in January, while 21 percent call it a “crisis.”

Interesting that a right-wing tool reports that this the problem. So what does he propose?

So, if everyone is concerned about the income gap, what’s the big difference between left and right? It’s the difference between opportunity and outcome.

Opportunity and outcomes, you say? Oh, right. So, that means cutting more taxes on the rich and awaiting just a bit longer, say, another 30 years, for that inevitable trickle. Because cutting taxes on the rich will give them so much more opportunity to determine your outcome - though it may not be the outcome that you like.

Yay. Sounds so uplifting. Thanks, word-smither extraordinaire for making see the slanted light.