Polls find that polls matter

56% of Americans want the freedoms to light up:

The poll affirms, once again, that the tide of public opinion continues to turn in our favor. Fifty-six percent of respondents stated they would support legalizing and regulating marijuana in a similar manner alcohol and tobacco. Only 36% were opposed to the concept and 8% were undecided.

The 36% who opposed were drunk on alcohol, which, as we all know, isn’t a drug and does not impair our senses, and does not soothe cancer patients.

Let’s also not forget that states rights don’t matter except when it matters (for gay marriage and healthcare and ….)

69% of Floridians blame Wall Street a/k/a banksters greed for Florida housing crisis:

The poll, commissioned by Campaign for a Fair Settlement, a group of labor and Democratic-leaning organizations, and conducted by Public Policy Polling, finds that only 36 percent of Florida voters approve of the president’s handling of the mortgage crisis while 50 percent disapprove. Almost six in 10 Florida voters believe President Obama has “not done enough to hold the banks accountable for their role in the housing collapse.”

On the bright side for Obama, 69 percent of responders said that the financial crisis was due at least in part to “criminal actions by Wall Street executives,” giving Obama room to grow if he takes a harder stance against the banks.

Well, Floridians did a great job punishing corporate greed by electing a convicted felon as Governor. That’ll show them corporate types! Why, the banksters in Palm Beach & Naples are practically shaking in their boots of how Obama may come after them only to be elected as Governor by the incredibly smart people of Florida. How scary.

Also too don’t forget how to be irrationally angry thanks to $3 trillion in Romney’s SuperPAC ads over how Obama wants Palestinians to take over Jerusalem & Muslims to build a mosque over baby Jesus’ manger & how Obama supports Fidel Castro & his Adidas tracksuit decked out army to invade the Keys! ZOMG!

Shh! Also too too did you know that it was Obama’s secret plan to release Burmese python to eat Florida’s native rodent population to justify Eric Holder’s onerous super-duper double-secret plan to confiscate our guns? It’s true - because otherwise why wouldn’t Eric Holder say something about the pythons? Ipso facto e pluribus unum! Semper semper!

Independent voters want Obama to keep pressuring banksters & make them accountable:

[A PPP poll] shows that independent voters in five potential battleground states would like to see the Obama administration do more to hold banks accountable and police Wall Street.  The five states included in the survey — Nevada, Florida, Arizona, North Carolina and Pennsylvania — will not only figure prominently in the 2012 presidential election; they were also among the most acutely affected by the housing crisis and ensuing recession.

Independent voters are opposed to repealing the Affordable HealthCare Act (a/k/a Obamacare a/k/a RomneyCare):

Among registered voters nationwide, the poll shows that 41 percent have a favorable impression of Romney’s vow to repeal the health care reform law — colloquially referred to as “Obamacare” — that was passed and signed into law in 2010, while 42 percent have an unfavorable view of the proposal.  But the former Massachusetts governor’s plan is unpopular among independents, with 47 percent saying they view Romney’s call for repeal unfavorably and only 33 percent saying they have a favorable view.

Great. I am sure uninformed, apathetic voters a/k/a independents won’t be swayed in the least by $3 trillion in ads by Americans For Prosperity, FreedomWorks,  Citizens for Responsible Competitive Free Enterprise, Families & Freedoms & Justice about how Romney will use his business skills to right-size America with efficiencies gained from synergies created from entitlement reform (a/k/a lower taxes for rich & already incredibly profitable corporations).

It’ll be awesome.

A survey of Wall Street suggests that big banks are expected to use a larger portion of profits for employee bonuses this year:

Bonuses are expected to rise 5 percent to 15 percent for employees across the financial services industry, with fixed-income traders projected to get the biggest bonus increases, according to forecasts by the compensation consulting firm Johnson Associates.

A chart in the Johnson Associates report showed compensation and benefits inching up toward 68 percent of investment and commercial banks’ profits in 2012, from about 63 percent last year. The figures are a median projection for eight large banks, based on Johnson Associates’ consulting work year-to-date.

And why not! Just hang on America, the money is almost ready to trickle down to from  the guys who we bailed out. I feel so special. They totally deserve it for creating the financial crisis, giving us a chance to bail them out so they could fund ultra-right wing nutjobs who want to give them more & sacrifice schools, roads, retirement savings so they can have a little more. I feel so happy.

By the way, I think they should get a tax cut too. ‘Cuz, you know, freedoms.

~33% of white women between 18 and 21 admit to going tanning 20 times on average in a year:

The Associated Press looks at the CDC’s findings, which used numbers from a 2010 survey of adults between 18 and 29. The fact that so many people got sunburned shows that we’re regressing in our skin care, and aren’t scared off by warnings of skin cancer. In 2005, 45% of people reported at least one sunburn, which had been progress from 50% in the 2000 study.

Beyond that data, the CDC also found that women in their 20s are going to tanning salons almost twice a month on average. Their survey on the use of tanning beds, booths or sun lamps is a bit shocking — while 6% of adults overall admitted to going tanning indoors in the previous year, among young white women ages 18 to 21, the rate was 32%. That’s up 5% from the 2010 survey.

Young ladies, never mind the cancer, please let me offer you the best warning against tanning:

Cops say mom left kids in car so she could tan

You’re welcome

63% of small business owners in Colorado say access to protected public lands and outdoor spaces is a major part of why they set up operations in the state:

A new survey conducted for the Small Business Majority finds that 63 percent of small business owners in Colorado say access to protected public lands and outdoor spaces is a major part of why they set up operations in the state.

The results show that these small business owners strongly support the president’s “all of the above” energy strategy — with more than half saying they would be more likely to support such a plan if it includes steps to conserve some areas and keep them free of development.

By a 4:1 margin, those small business owners say that creating new national parks and monuments would have a positive impact on jobs and the economy.

Really? I am sorry but we have to drill, baby, drill and frack, baby, frack so there. Also, too, if we don’t give in to big oil the terrorists win. Also, too, too tax cuts for rich means we can’t afford to protect land.

Americans want to cut defense spending:

Ask your average American whether the defense budget should go up or down in 2013, and by how much, and they’ll tell you to cut spending by a whopping 18 percent. Ask your average member of Congress the same question, and no matter which party they’re from, you’ll likely hear that defense spending should barely budge from where it is right now.

The problem, they acknowledge, is that the average American doesn’t typically get the inside look at the budget, and there isn’t much public pressure on policymakers, who’ve gotten an earful from the Pentagon when it comes to defense spending. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, for instance, “is talking about catastrophe and devastation if cuts go further,” said Leatherman. As a result, Smith add later, the “noisy minorities” dominate, and the public is left in the dark.

The public is in the dark? Hmm, only if we had a halfway decent press that informs instead of acting as stenographers for lobbyists & DC insiders? On one hand, he said we need missiles, on the other hand, poor people have cell phones. So lets cut social net for missiles. Yeah, journamalism is teh awesome!! I can haz Fred Hiatt & David Broder’s freedoms(tm) medals of bipartisan biased reporting that tickles DC very serious people’s fancies & leaves people totally uninformed.

Besides, without defense spending, we may not be able to afford giant codpiece for the next mission accomplished landing on USS Freedoms

60% of Americans say that President Obama’s endorsement of same-sex marriage will make no difference in how they vote:

A new national poll from Gallup shows that 60 percent of Americans say that President Obama’s endorsement of same-sex marriage will make no difference in how they vote. Among those who it will, twice as many Americans said they were less likely to vote for him because of it (26 percent) versus those who would be more likely (13 percent).

Overall, 51 percent of Americans polled approved of President Obama’s new position the policy, while 45 percent were against it.

On the other hand, we haven’t yet witnessed the onslaught of ads from Crossroads GPS, Americans for a Prosperous Free Enterprise & Unhappy Marriages, Club for a Gay Free Growth, Gay FreedomWorks etc. tying in Obama’s same-sex support with satan worship. Let it not be said Americans arem’t easily fooled. Hey, who’s Willie Horton raped recently? Wasn’t he gay, too?

A new survey finds Americans are more likely to move up the economic ladder if they live in the northeast:

The states with the highest mobility rankings are Maryland, New York and New Jersey. During the 10-year period studied, residents there were more likely to have experienced stronger income growth and to have raised their economic standing relative to other Americans. People in those states were also less likely to be downwardly mobile. Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Utah also scored well.

Nine states in the South, including Texas and Florida, had worse economic mobility than the national average. Oklahoma, Louisiana and South Carolina had the lowest scores. Currier says other Pew studies have identified the factors that most affect mobility.

You mean people in the “right-to-work” states where billionaires live tax free and force wages down don’t move up the economic ladder? Shocking! But also too you know like … makers and takers, right?

Otoh, if PA, NJ & NY replace labor rights with right-to-work extra special freedom works, I am sure America will be great again and no one will tread on my freedoms to live a life of endless freedoms.

~60% of teen girls who have sex use the most effective kinds of contraception:

About 60 percent of teen girls who have sex use the most effective kinds of contraception, including the pill and patch.

That’s up from the mid-90s, when less than half were using the best kinds, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study found.

The teen birth rate fell 44 percent between 1990 and 2010. Another factor besides better birth control is increasing abstinence. About 43 percent of the girls in the survey said they’d had sex, the new study found. That’s down from a similar survey in 1995, when 51 percent of teen girls said they’d had sex.

Cue the faux outrage & ignorant sh*tfest from the right. Teens having sex? Gasp! Teens preventing pregnancy by using birth control? My lawd, where’re my smelling salts. Should we dare listen to guardian saint of teen affairs (and oxycontin & viagra pills), Rush Limbaugh on this topic?

Girls, you don’t need birth control - all you need is a heavy dose of abstinence & purity balls followed by lack of social net when you get pregnant, drop out of school and start working in Walmart with other abstinence practicing teen mothers. Huzzah!

Also, don’t forget to not get the HPV virus because a random 7 foot tall man once told me it causes retardation. For realz. Bless you child, in the name of Michele Bachmann, the holy HPV virus and Rick Santorum.